Still here....

Hi, all.

I've kind if been avoiding the Internet. Haven't been on Facebook or anything let alone blogging. We are all ok though. I had another OB appointment yesterday (I have appointments and ultrasounds every Friday). Baby "a" is still looking strong and healthy. He/she was wiggling around and all systems look good. It's hard to see baby "B" every time though.

Our life has been revolving around doctors appointments these days, but thankfully Hailey is doing well.

I'll try to post some ultrasound pictures this week. My docs ultrasound burner has been broken so we get printed pictures rather than CDs.

Thanks for checking in on us!

Heartbroken

We are sad to share that we lost on of our twins on Friday. I went for my normal weekly appointment and ultrasound, and baby "B" was still alive, but the heart rate was very low. We waited a couple hours and the doctor sent me to the ER to get fluids and have some lab work (my urine levels were concerning in the office but they can't do full lab testing). In the meantime, Jeremy came to the hospital to help and keep me company. When we got discharged from the ER, we went back to my OB's office (connected to the hospital), and my OB re-scanned me. Baby B was gone; there was no heart beat.

We couldn't have been more excited to be having twins, and we are heartbroken. I know people say "It's God's plan", or "everything happens for a reason", or "at least we still have one", and although all those are true, we aren't ready to accept those because we're still grieving the loss of our sweet baby.

If you have any thoughts or prayers to spare, we would appreciate them. Most pressing is that baby A makes it through this pregnancy and gets to come home with us.

Jeremy:
Thank you so much. For being my rock through being so sick, and losing our baby. I wouldn't have made it through any of this without you loving and supporting me. I love you!

Prayers, Please!

I logged on tonight intending to post an update on our babies. Instead of reading me complain about our complications and how sick I am, please take a moment to pray for my friend Courney. She is the strongest woman I know, and her son Tripp was such an adorable fighter. He is now in Heaven and although Courtney (and everyone that has been praying for him for so long) is thankful that he's no longer in excrustiating pain, she's now feeling the pain of arms that are empty of her baby. 

Please send Courtney, Tripp and their families any thoughts or prayers you can spare.

Thank you!

(Photo from Courtney's blog)

Catching Up {Again}

Things are looking up around here! This episode of encephalopathy was one of the worst and longest that Hailey's had in quite awhile, and it lasted through Christmas. Between that and ALL DAY sickness attacking, I haven't been able to do many extra things including blog. Considering Hailey was severely encephalopathic, we had a good Christmas.

This has been a hard year for our whole family with my Grandma/Grandpa both being diagnosed with cancer, Hailey's poor health continuing, etc...so it was nice for all of us to be together to celebrate.

Hailey has recovered just in time to go back to school tomorrow. I'm relieved and sad at the same time. It will be nice to get back into some resemblance of a routine, but I will miss her too! She's also excited for her birthday on Thursday. We have no plans for her birthday, I think we might take her to a special dinner than do her party in a couple weeks.

I will work on a couple Christmas posts this week and (as I always say) try to keep on top of the posting! I hope you all enjoyed your holidays surrounded by people who make you smile!

New Year's Blessing{s}

TWINS!!!!!!!

Yes, you read that right. We're having not one, but two babies. The fact that we're having twins totally caught us by surprise, but we couldn't be more excited. I have been so sick that I can barely function, but I wouldn't give it up for the world. Pregnancy is no longer a time of pure excitement fueled by blissful ignorance. I think that anyone who has lost a baby or babies knows that you can never jump into a pregnancy the same way again. Every thought I have about these babies is either proceeded or followed by "if they come home". Pregnancy is a terrifying time for us, but we are really trying to live in the moment and focus on the positives; these two blessings that have been given to us.

P.s. I'm going to post an update post after this one. I know, I know. I'm behind yet again!

Update on Hailey

For those of you whO follow me on twitter, you know that Hailey is "sick" again. Friday we got a call from the school that she was seizing and they called an ambulance. We rushed there and thankfully made it there before she left in the ambulance this time. When I got inside, she was still seizing. Thankfully she was totally out of it, so the paramedics were able to start her iv without holding her down as much.

We got to the hospital, and they got her seizure stopped and then we realized that she was encephalopathic. So, no more seizures, but encephalopathy instead which is worse. Hailey is sleeping very little and has been up till after 4 every night, so we are all exhausted.

Obviously we don't want her to keep having encephalopathies at all, but since she is I'm thankful she had it now instead of over Christmas, since we were in the hospital and didn't get to celebrate Christmas last year.

Thank you for checking in with us, and to those who have sent thoughts/prayers. I think most people think we are "used" to dealing with this so they don't call/text/email/Facebook anymore. If anything, we are even more frustrated now and it's nice to hear that people are thinking of us or praying for hailey.


P.s. Posting from my phone, so sorry for errors.

Please Pray

I would like to ask for your prayers today. Please pray for sweet Keegan's family, as he went to heaven yesterday morning. He was a sweet, strong boy with beautiful blue eyes. See:

 (Keegan and his parents on his wish trip just two weeks ago)

I am glad that he's no longer in pain or suffering, but so sad for Beth and Ryan, because they're now feeling the pain of losing their sweet boy.

Please send any thoughts or prayers that you can spare to their family. Thank you.